If you read my first post and thought that this would be an entirely cerebral, Sam Harris-esque blog of polemics and boredom… Here’s a rap about Darwin. Your argument is invalid.

Listen along while you read…

If you’re havin’ bird problems i feel bad for you son.

I got 99 problems but a finch ain’t one.

 

I got the catholic souls on the gap patrol.

Foes that wanna make sure my trap is closed.

Christians only buyin what the bible shows.

It’s in the data stupid, what type of facts are those.

If you had spent years in the woods and weather.

You’d be celebrating the minute that it came together.

so fuck critics, you can’t fight the truth with prayer.

If you don’t like my theory you can just sit and stare.

Cuz it’s a whole new world for a naturalist.

Your dogma and theology have been dismissed.

I got church brass tryin’ to smear my ass.

So they can keep the asses in the pews for mass, fuckers.

I don’t know what you take me as.

Or understand the intelligence that C.D. has.

I’m bringing truth to the world, no I ain’t dumb.

I got 99 problems but a finch ain’t one.

Hit me.

 

99 problems but a finch aint one.

If you’re havin’ bird problems i feel bad for you son.

I got 99 problems but a finch ain’t one.

Hit me.

 

The year’s ’59, it’s my time to shine.

I got my book, my theory, and a dope ass mind

I got two choices y’all publish it all or

Bounce and let Wallace take the credit for it all

Now I ain’t tryin’ to take no one’s god away

But i got a mean bulldog who will take the case

So I… publish it all for everyone to see

I heard “Son do you really want to mess with me?

I’m the motherfuckin church and we’re the king of smear.

Galileo wasn’t pardoned for 400 years.”

Well it’s a different age and I have no fear

I got my boy Hooker and old Huxley, we’re

gunna… reinvent biology and watch the world change

Haven’t you seen how the species of the world’r arranged?

Over millions of years and little bit by bit

An environment will select those best adapt to it

So with a lil bit o’ diversity and kids gallor

You’ll find a new species that wasn’t there before

“Aren’t you sharp as a tack, but wait a minute,

how are these traits passed on to their next of kin?

No, I don’t yet know how diversity is passed down

But I got my boy Mendel’s who one day’ll be world renown

Just you wait until the fuckin’ human genome’s done

I got 99 problems but a finch ain’t one

Hit me

 

99 problems but a finch aint one.

If you’re havin’ bird problems i feel bad for you son.

I got 99 problems but a finch ain’t one.

Hit me

 

No. I will not be releasing audio for this one. Your imagination will have to do.